Dear Diet Pepsi,
I'm breaking up with you. We've had a long run together you & I. Our love affair started in high school when you reeled me in with your promises of zero calories plus a caffeine boost.
You said you'd quench my thirst on hot days, so I ignored water when it called to me.
You said that sugar was bad for me & you showed me your aspartame. You said it's sweetness wouldn't hurt me.
When I tried to leave you, you lured me back in by giving me a headache. Not cool.
Last week was the last straw. When I gave you up for good I got the mother of all migraine headaches.
I loved you & you pretended to love me back but I'm on to you now.
It's not me- it's you.
P.S. Please tell Diet Coke to take a hike. He was always a poor substitute anyway.
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